What’s the Big Deal re: Self Love? 3 Easy Ways to Feel Good Right Now
October 11th, 2013 by Katie Morton
Photo: Courtney Rhodes / Creative Commons
Back when I worked at CNBC, I didn’t love myself. Of course, I wasn’t aware of this at the time. Most of us don’t walk around thinking:
“I don’t love myself.”
Or, “Holy mackerel, I LOVE the CRAP outta myself.”
But when I think back on my experiences there, the truth is evident. Here are 2 ways my lack of self love showed:
I was afraid to speak up in meetings. What if I said the wrong thing?
I dressed to fit in rather than based on my own personal taste or style. What if I stood out, or didn’t blend in with the corporate culture?
My lack of self love also showed up in my personal life. I remember on 9/11, I felt like I had nowhere to go. I didn’t want to be alone in my apartment where I could smell the burning wreckage of ground zero, but I didn’t love myself enough to ask a friend if I could spend the night.
Another friend of mine, who lives in California, made a phone call on my behalf to score me an invite to stay with someone. Basically, when sh*t got real, I didn’t love myself enough to take care of myself. Someone had to do it for me.
(Note to Brené Brown fans: she refers to self love as “worthiness” — of knowing that you’re worthy of love and belonging exactly as you are.)
When you don’t love yourself deeply and truly, you might not realize it, but it impacts your daily choices and it impacts your levels of happiness on a daily basis. Your levels of self love impact whether you feel awesome like a superhero, or like things are not quite right in your world.
So how do you start loving yourself? How do you get to feel like a superhero? Here are 3 easy ways to get started.
1. Toot your own horn. We’re taught from a young age not to act “conceited” or “stuck up.” Quit that nonsense. Acknowledge that right now, exactly as you are, you’re pretty freakin’ awesome.
As Stuart Smalley would say, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog gone it, people like me.” But seriously. Say that to yourself right now, because it’s true!
2. Remember what you’re good at. Look, we’re all talented. Truly. Everyone is good at something. Practice recalling and noticing the things you’re good at, whether it’s making people feel at ease, making a mean cup of coffee, knitting, organizing, cooking…whatever it is, simply practice noticing the little things that you excel at.
You might think these things don’t matter or that everyone is good at them, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Take it from someone who doesn’t know how to knit or organize. These things represent the mystery of the Sphinx to me.
A client of mine knows a lot about Chinese medicine. To me, that’s just like…whoa. But many people in her position think things like, “I don’t know as much as some people,” or “I haven’t been formally trained.” Stop qualifying what you’re good at, stop comparing, and simply acknowledge and appreciate yourself right where you are.
Cherish your talents, because not everyone has them. It’s your unique blend of tastes and talents that make you so oh-so-cool and one-of-a-kind.
3. Make a list. Keep a list of things that you like to do, things you might like to try, and things that you already know you’re good at. This exercise helps you get to know yourself a little bit better. You are probably going to be surprised by some of the things that show up on your list.
Don’t underestimate the value of this exercise. It’s the precursor to help you discover your purpose in life.
Keeping this list will also inspire you to spend more time doing the things you love and the things you’re good at, and that’s a recipe for feeling like a superhero anytime you want.
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